by - Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
You’ve seen or heard of these before. You’ve probably even experienced them in different ways in your life. They are the five stages of grief as proposed by the Kübler-Ross model—perhaps the most well known. They were initially introduced for those diagnosed with terminal illnesses, but have also more recently been applied to those impacted by people diagnosed with a terminal illness, as well. That’s where I became familiar with this model—when my husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer.
The topic of grief is something that has fascinated me since it came into my life with such reckless abandon in 2011 when Ken was diagnosed. And it has remained with me, though maybe not in the way you think. Certainly, his death took an incredible toll on me in all the ways you could imagine, but it was a learning opportunity at the same time—possibly the greatest of my life. Among those lessons is understanding the role grief plays in our lives on a daily basis—at home and work. And what we can learn from it.
In its simplest terms, grief is the loss of something. It doesn’t have to be a loss of life. It can be the loss of a habit (quitting smoking) or the loss of complacence (when an unfamiliar process is put into place) or the loss of status (getting a new boss or maybe not getting the promotion you worked for). The scale of grief can vary, depending on the person, situation, and environment.
I attended a fascinating seminar called “Neuroscience Challenges of Organizational Change” by Dr. Dustin Jackson recently. In his work, he’s found (among many other illuminating things) that the feelings experienced by people during organizational change mirror the stages of grief in many ways:
- Shock
- Denial
- Frustration
- Depression
- Decision
- Integration
Look familiar?
It was my “ah-ha!” moment! Or really, a moment of confirmation. It’s something that had occurred to me before, but Dr. Jackson’s discussion substantiated my belief. Though my role as a change management practitioner has only been a couple of years, as an employee of Accenture for the last twenty-something years—and as a human being—I’ve witnessed many instances of sweeping changes and the sometimes-drastic reactions of those around me (including myself).
The emotional component of change is critical, yet often overlooked. We often assign negative connotations to emotions in the workplace. But, the fact is emotions are present in every single one of us every day of our lives no matter where we are. Without them, we’d have no highs or lows. Life would be less colorful. Our connections to one another wouldn’t be as rich and textured. Translation: boring! Emotions are a big part of what makes each of us who we are individually.
I can say with certainty that having gone through personal grief, it has left me a stronger, more compassionate–and certainly–more resilient person who pursues his future and his passions ardently, just as change in an organization should ultimately leave it stronger, more robust, and poised for a successful future.
Change is grief. And though I don’t claim to a be a psychologist, just like the grief of losing a loved one, the grief with organizational change eventually passes, as it should. But like someone going through personal grief, a therapist can help them to navigate the path ahead. In the same way, an effective change management team can help an organization adapt to implemented changes. It’s important to recognize the change management component of any project is essential for its success.
We deal with grief of varying magnitudes on a daily basis within ourselves, our team, our department, our organization. Like death and taxes, change is inevitable–particularly for a successful organization in today’s demanding, always-connected world. I encourage you to think about the changes–big or small–you encounter and witness others dealing with at work. Think about the emotional journey of grief through change and how you can help others deal with the change by addressing their grief to help them through it. It brings you closer to understanding the importance of a well-implemented change strategy.
